Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Received this really funny email:
Dear Husband:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. You are cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
Penned on: 12/21/2005 11:00:00 am
Dear Husband:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. You are cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed Rich As Hell and Free!
Penned on: 12/21/2005 11:00:00 am
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Aah.. Long overdue post. But better late than never. =X First and foremost, thanks to everyone that remembered my bdae. =) Many many smses till my phone was low on memory. Ha!
My dearest hammie.. Brought me out to eat anoneh and gave me a special "Buy whatever you want and charge it to my account" pass! Wahaha! I NEED to utilise it man!!! =X But I wont clear out yr account.. Dont worry. Muahaha! And thank you for the really cute birthday mp3 performed by yourself. Hee! I really really like it and its soo soooo special! U better send it to me cos i cant seem to download off my stupid provider. Or is it my hp's fault? *ponders* Aiya! In short, thank u very muchie! Its amazing how we met and hit it off.. And how time flies.. But im really glad we met. Cos u always make me feel special and loved not only on my birthdays but every other day. *hugs*
And i gotta give special recognition to three animal pals, Doggie, cow and piggy.
THE DUBIOUS INVITATION
I received this really pretty card on *insert some day* and immediately assumed its a birthday card. I opened it and realised it was an invitation.
It says:
Dear Jamie,
You are invited to the HUNT for The Royal Marquee. Bedazzled with a night of mind games, fireworks and intoxication!
Date: 3 December 2005 (Saturday)
Time: 7pm
Venue: East Coast Beach
After reading it, i stared at it and thought long and hard for a really long time. Cos it didn't seem like any normal invite and somehow my heart was tugging and thinking it is some kind of surprise.. But then, the whole thing just looked so dubious.. My observations:
1. Posted by an individual/small co (use of common postage stamp instead of prepaid)
2. Very personalised (using my name in the invite)
3. Loads of effort involved (colour co-ord, print on paper matches card cover)
3. Extremely vague details (ECP but no organiser name or RSVP or contact no etc)
4. Card was bought from Prints
After deliberating for two hour and consulting abt 5 people over a span of 2-3 days, i decided that its too dubious and set it aside.
DAY OF THE EVENT
I was happily enjoying my steak when i received a phone call with one of my animal pals screaming through my ears:
"Where are you?.. Huh?! You didn't receive the invite ah???"
And suddenly, it all became clear. It was meant to be a birthday surprise. And they commanded me to rush down asap and buy MacDonalds for them on the way there. It was abt 9+pm alrdy and i called asking where they are cos i cant find them. And cow said:
"Erm, you look for the royal marquee lor! hahahaa!" *hung up*
And i walked on looking out for marquees. I saw a big royal blue marquee. Wasnt them. Small white marquee. Wasnt them. Yellow something-like-a-marquee marquee. Wasnt them. And my phone rang. Apparently i overshot and they directed me towards the sea. As i looked out into the pitch darkness, all i see were little tents scattered around. I inched my way towards the direction given..
I saw them and the tent which was supposed to be the "Royal Marquee". And u kw what they did? They lied down IMMEDIATELY when i reached! Nobody acknowledged me lor! TSK! But i have to say im really impressed with them. Cos they were really well equipped.
Properly set up tent.
Ground sheets.
Pillows.
Sleeping mats.
Radio.
Fluorescent lamp.
Coleman.
Chilled drinks of all sorts.
Loads of snacks.
Cleansers and whatnots for face.
And most imptly, MOSQUITO COIL.
It was most impressive considering they are such city and prissy peeps. I never imagined they could do this without my help. WAHAHAA!
MY AFTER THOUGHTS
After looking at the invite again, i realised what the whole paragraph meant:
You are invited to the HUNT (literally hunt since i hv no clue how it looks like or where the hell they are) for The Royal Marquee (im supposed to be able to spot a huge ass pink crown fixed atop the tent if i arrived at 7pm). Bedazzled with a night of mind games (snap and taboo), fireworks (sparklers) and intoxication (many different beers and sparkling wine)!
Even tho:
I didnt exactly find the Royal Marquee
Had to light 90% of the sparklers
Didnt drink the bubbly except the ILT i bought fr Mac
Lost at Taboo which was somehow x-rated that day
Have someone sleep thru most of it
Ended up being some kind of security guard as they slept
And might not get a bdae pressie
Thank you guys soooo much. It was really nice and sweet... The planning, the effort, the cake, the symbolic balloon, the laughter, the fun and every bit of memory i hv of that day.. It meant a lot to me and i really appreciate it even tho i complained abt a lot of stuff.. Hahaha!
Thank you and you and you. Love you guys. =)
Penned on: 12/10/2005 12:17:00 am
My dearest hammie.. Brought me out to eat anoneh and gave me a special "Buy whatever you want and charge it to my account" pass! Wahaha! I NEED to utilise it man!!! =X But I wont clear out yr account.. Dont worry. Muahaha! And thank you for the really cute birthday mp3 performed by yourself. Hee! I really really like it and its soo soooo special! U better send it to me cos i cant seem to download off my stupid provider. Or is it my hp's fault? *ponders* Aiya! In short, thank u very muchie! Its amazing how we met and hit it off.. And how time flies.. But im really glad we met. Cos u always make me feel special and loved not only on my birthdays but every other day. *hugs*
And i gotta give special recognition to three animal pals, Doggie, cow and piggy.
THE DUBIOUS INVITATION
I received this really pretty card on *insert some day* and immediately assumed its a birthday card. I opened it and realised it was an invitation.
It says:
Dear Jamie,
You are invited to the HUNT for The Royal Marquee. Bedazzled with a night of mind games, fireworks and intoxication!
Date: 3 December 2005 (Saturday)
Time: 7pm
Venue: East Coast Beach
After reading it, i stared at it and thought long and hard for a really long time. Cos it didn't seem like any normal invite and somehow my heart was tugging and thinking it is some kind of surprise.. But then, the whole thing just looked so dubious.. My observations:
1. Posted by an individual/small co (use of common postage stamp instead of prepaid)
2. Very personalised (using my name in the invite)
3. Loads of effort involved (colour co-ord, print on paper matches card cover)
3. Extremely vague details (ECP but no organiser name or RSVP or contact no etc)
4. Card was bought from Prints
After deliberating for two hour and consulting abt 5 people over a span of 2-3 days, i decided that its too dubious and set it aside.
DAY OF THE EVENT
I was happily enjoying my steak when i received a phone call with one of my animal pals screaming through my ears:
"Where are you?.. Huh?! You didn't receive the invite ah???"
And suddenly, it all became clear. It was meant to be a birthday surprise. And they commanded me to rush down asap and buy MacDonalds for them on the way there. It was abt 9+pm alrdy and i called asking where they are cos i cant find them. And cow said:
"Erm, you look for the royal marquee lor! hahahaa!" *hung up*
And i walked on looking out for marquees. I saw a big royal blue marquee. Wasnt them. Small white marquee. Wasnt them. Yellow something-like-a-marquee marquee. Wasnt them. And my phone rang. Apparently i overshot and they directed me towards the sea. As i looked out into the pitch darkness, all i see were little tents scattered around. I inched my way towards the direction given..
I saw them and the tent which was supposed to be the "Royal Marquee". And u kw what they did? They lied down IMMEDIATELY when i reached! Nobody acknowledged me lor! TSK! But i have to say im really impressed with them. Cos they were really well equipped.
Properly set up tent.
Ground sheets.
Pillows.
Sleeping mats.
Radio.
Fluorescent lamp.
Coleman.
Chilled drinks of all sorts.
Loads of snacks.
Cleansers and whatnots for face.
And most imptly, MOSQUITO COIL.
It was most impressive considering they are such city and prissy peeps. I never imagined they could do this without my help. WAHAHAA!
MY AFTER THOUGHTS
After looking at the invite again, i realised what the whole paragraph meant:
You are invited to the HUNT (literally hunt since i hv no clue how it looks like or where the hell they are) for The Royal Marquee (im supposed to be able to spot a huge ass pink crown fixed atop the tent if i arrived at 7pm). Bedazzled with a night of mind games (snap and taboo), fireworks (sparklers) and intoxication (many different beers and sparkling wine)!
Even tho:
I didnt exactly find the Royal Marquee
Had to light 90% of the sparklers
Didnt drink the bubbly except the ILT i bought fr Mac
Lost at Taboo which was somehow x-rated that day
Have someone sleep thru most of it
Ended up being some kind of security guard as they slept
And might not get a bdae pressie
Thank you guys soooo much. It was really nice and sweet... The planning, the effort, the cake, the symbolic balloon, the laughter, the fun and every bit of memory i hv of that day.. It meant a lot to me and i really appreciate it even tho i complained abt a lot of stuff.. Hahaha!
Thank you and you and you. Love you guys. =)
Penned on: 12/10/2005 12:17:00 am
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Wanted to blog. But i'm 'chie-ing' pp for Solitaire Showdown! So later! Muahaha!
Penned on: 12/01/2005 10:09:00 pm
Penned on: 12/01/2005 10:09:00 pm